Being Higly Sensitive: The feeling of belonging
Growing up a sensitive child has never been easy for me. I was told to “grow up faster” and “be tougher” by -mostly- my parents, every day for as long as I can remember. My authentic self was being bound and beaten into submission, because they expected me to fulfill my role within the family, community, even the world as they saw fit. I myself however was never interested in any role; I did not want to pretend to be someone else.
In an environment where authenticity and sensitivity wasn’t celebrated but feared, my Inner Child was crumbling. I went through various stages of falling apart, very often I was physically ill, with doctors labeling me with all kinds of differents diagnosis which never turned out to be correct. I felt like I was going crazier by the year and as a result, my Inner Child did not want to show herself any longer. So she withdrew.
She did not speak, but played by herself with sand and dirt, fell into ponds filled with frogs and chased butterflies through the fields of cows and horses. If she fell, the soft grass would catch her. When she tumbled down a steep hill -either on purpose or by accident- a soft brush or a warm body of water would always be waiting to welcome the wild, lost child. Nature did not critize the girl. She welcomed her with arms wide open, recognizing her presence and belonging on Earth.
I’ve always felt connected to Nature, to the bees and birds and colors and shapes and sounds. They provided me with much more peace and wisdom than any human being, often during very difficult and lonely times. Although my connection with Nature is -and always will be- very strong, my sense of belonging has been growing. It feels like it’s gravitating towards something bigger, like my mind and body are deeply rooted in the same essence as all other living beings here on Earth. But my Soul, my Soul belongs to the Universe. The place that exists outside of time and maybe -possibly- even beyond comprehension. I find comfort in that.
Even if we can’t seem to -completely- find our place in this World, I have to believe and have faith in that the Universe will ultimately help us create and provide something better. It is with deep understanding that we realise we are all the same, coming from the same place and going places for the same or understandable reasons. Living in peace on Planet Earth is a group effort, so it’s important to surround yourself with people that hold the same beliefs, standards and values as you yourself do. The more you come to practice and realise this, the bigger sense of belonging (through self-acceptance) you will receive.
Earth has become deeply dependent on the goodness of the few, and she has suffered by the hands of humans since the day we were given consciousness. To think that one nation, or one country alone can change the world and it’s people is just morally wrong. Earth is a group project and Mother Nature needs her children -all of them- to work together. The sensitive and the less sensitive, the animals and humans, thinkers and doers, smart and intelligent. We can all contribute in different but helpful ways.
The natural order is not to be disrupted. Find your rightful and authentic place and humbly take pride in how far you’ve come. Staying true to yourself and acknowledging you are not better than anyone else will enhance your feelings of gratitude and humility; a perfect anchor for the Highly Sensitive Person.
Zoë van Mourik | Equine Trauma & Behavior Specialist
www.zoevanmourik.com & www.houseofhorsemanship.nl