 I love my job. It might not always be fun, but it is fulfilling. And some days or moments are neither, just like in any other job or work field. One of the reasons I couldn't function in an office environment was the insensitivity (varying from not really being (emotionally) aware to straight up bullying) of people toward each other. Everyone seemed to eagerly participate in the rat race, only to burn out after some time, but not before doing some unhealthy and heavy unloading on coworkers. They call it 'success' and 'winning'. Something I am maybe just too sober to understand. What I do understand is the horses who are feeling just like this, every day. Stalled in closed off environments, without proper food, exercise or even friends. Moving from place to place, switching owners more often than seeing a vet or bodyworker. being bored for 23 hours a day and give everything in the one hour of work and never having the experience of having a home, safety and stability. I cry in my car when I leave places like this. I ask myself and wonder why I quit working in an office. Why I am witnessing so much stuff I'd rather know nothing about, instead of feeling blissfully unaware about the heartaches and pain in this world. I guess I feel helpless during those times and I curse and cuss in my car until the tears come. By the time I'm home I usually got everything out and then I need to remind myself that I can't change anything, not a SINGLE THING just by myself. Like we say with rescue horses and missions: 'It takes a village'. Change can only happen through the efforts of people who aren't afraid to break the mold. To mercilessly slam on the breaks at the first sign of downfall instead of blaming it on someone or something else. Please hold yourself and others accountable when you stumble on situations like these and speak up on behalf of the horse in the present and in the future. Love,
Zoë van Mourik | Equine Trauma & Behavior Specialist www.zoevanmourik.com & www.houseofhorsemanship.nl
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 'For the Horse' If you're here to see sudden and big movements, then you're not here for the horse. If you're here to see me push my methods with no regards to how the horse is feeling, then you're not here for the horse If you came to my demo's and expected spectacle and high intensity, chances are there is a need within yourself that is not being met. What is keeping you from being calm? What is keeping you from experiencing joy when watching a relaxed horse? Because it's definitely not normal to seek out demo's and events that feature scared and stressed out horses. This is a BIG sign that beneath your hard exterior, you yourself could thrive with some help, like a listening ear or a supportive voice. 'A Traumatized person can recognize a Traumatized horse' Why do we have to go through things ourselves in order for us to be able to recognize trauma in another being? Why aren't we by default able to spot sadness, fear, distrust, pain? Why are people so hot for stressed out and uncomfortable horses, while this stems from trauma? Would you treat your child like that, when he is confused or scared? Would you laugh at them too, or make things worse by forcing them to do something? If so, then yes; you're abusive. And you're definitely not doing it for the horse. Please be mindful of the events and people you visit; you either support the wrong kind, or the good kind. There is no inbetween. Love,
Zoë van Mourik | Equine Trauma & Behavior Specialist www.zoevanmourik.com & www.houseofhorsemanship.nl  2019: Celebrating my freedom on Mustang Eden through the desert at Freedom Ranch, Pearblossom CA I forgot where this line is from, but I do remember encountering this sentence frequently while in my early years of therapy. I had just started going down the rabbit hole to help diminish my depression and anxiety, when people, movies and even books kept spouting these words. I didn't think much of it, until I lived in California years later. During one of my talks with a friend we discussed the hardships of having your own company and mainly: creating and keeping a well-established client base. 'How do you get clients? How do you keep 'em? How do I know which steps to take, choices to make? FOMO!!' Just a summation of what keeps many entrepreneurs up at night, and what keeps us going through the day. But after the chase comes exhaustion.. Manifesting clients, work and opportunities feels like a better solution to me. Instead of chasing stuff and people, we attract them. And only what we really want or need, not just for the sake of making more money (except of course when that ìs your primary focus/need). It's how I came to work at several beautiful places in the US and even became head trainer at a wonderful, large incorporation with amazing people. I felt like I was in over my head, yet my heart already resonated with everything it could find in my surroundings. So I went, only where I was already celebrated and eventually my head and heart started synching. The knowing, the feeling. The intuitive and the thinking. Rational and emotional, all vibrating at the same level and for the same goal: To celebrate that you are celebrated. To know you're welcome. To know yourself. And once you do, nothing and no one will ever come close to distracting us with chasing, needing and comparing ever again. Here, we do not chase or 'hustle'. We align and the Universe manifests accordingly. Love,
Zoë van Mourik | Equine Trauma & Behavior Specialist www.zoevanmourik.com & www.houseofhorsemanship.nl  How do you safeguard or guarantee your vision and mission in the (Equine) world? A lot of us are excited when we begin our (small) businesses. We feel grateful for the opportunity, freedom and interest in our work, but those feelings can easily become overshadowed by something else: Reality. We face obstacles, high expectations from ourselves or clients that we can't possibly meet. Basically, there are 2 ways of dealing with this; we adjust our mission to our clients wishes or we adjust our clients to fit our mission. Meaning we either disappoint our clients, or ourselves. Years ago, I decided on the first. 'But don't you want to earn money?! No. If making good money was my intention, I would have chosen an office job or pursued other fields I find interesting. But that's not why I chose horses; I chose them, for them. Sometimes this means turning down clients with 4 year old horses they want me to start, because I feel like it's too soon. It means saying 'No' to coming over when the issue is poor stable management. Letting go of clients who aren't able to work outside of a fixed time frame is also something I've done numerous times. And all of this felt sh*tty at first, like I was a fraud for not complying or fulfilling everyone's wishes. Time went by and almost overnight, things changed because I refused to. Coworkers, horses and clients aligned with my mission and methods, which gave me the confidence and freedom to only accept clients I feel comfortable helping. Where mutual honesty and respect are just as important to us as they are to our horses. And where safeguarding all of this and all of us is of utmost importance. Love,
Zoë van Mourik | Equine Trauma & Behavior Specialist www.zoevanmourik.com & www.houseofhorsemanship.nl  Why I sometimes still recommend the Parelli Program *short background story: I started with the Parelli program in 2013, in The Netherlands and after reaching level 4 in the US I decided to call it quits. The horses under my care were in desperate need of less stimuli instead of more movements, sounds and triggers. So I gave up on following fixed programs and instead tried to find my own way by following the horses themselves. The results were unbelievably mind-blowing, proof that my feelings were correct and more reasons to continue on this path. But: Parelli does have some aspects that makes it an easy-to-follow method (like the 7 Games), which is the whole reason Pat (and Linda, back when they ran the ranch together) earned his name and got so much attention worldwide. Their online program is very user-friendly and gives you the freedom to explore other levels and techniques within the program, which is very motivating. But overall, like all fixed programs, it's pretty much black-and-white and time constraint. My tip: swap out the notion of Reinforcement, Time Constraint and Levels. Applying NATO when doing the Parelli program is a significant game-changer for every horse and trainer; instead of focusing on a preferred outcome with preferred and subjective observations about behavior, we actually begin to see more input (E+) from the horse. More confidence, focus, even more happiness are direct results from simply giving your horse their space. Not just their physical space, but also some brain space to put things and information in perspective, in their own time and unique way. Are you ready to follow your horse? Love,
Zoë van Mourik | Equine Trauma & Behavior Specialist www.zoevanmourik.com & www.houseofhorsemanship.nl  In the US, this type of training is more accepted among trainers and owners than in the EU. When the owner of a ranch I worked at, was asked by a friend how to deal with a new horse that isn't used to being around people much and help it become a family horse, her answer was "train him". Time went by and the friend asked again what to do, because no matter what she did the horse didn't seem to be as accepting of everything like she had experienced from the horses at the ranch. So again, the owner said: Train him. But don't train him like you do the average horse; don't work him in the round pen, of have him go on for miles out on the trail to become bonded. Instead she suggested 'Family Training'. Consisting of hanging around with us, learning new things and exploring together, letting them observe us and vice versa, including them in our routines, Family Training makes a difference to any horse. It doesn't just benefit your training or performance, it benefits the horse. They feel included, cared for and loved. By doing these simple, mundane tasks we actively express that we do care for and love them. And this achievement spreads through both horse and human, no matter where they are or what they are doing. Because the bond is there. It is a great reminder of how it's more important to invest in being with our horses, than just training them. Love,
Zoë van Mourik | Equine Trauma & Behavior Specialist www.zoevanmourik.com & www.houseofhorsemanship.nl  'Journey of life starts with a full bag of luck and an empty bag of experience. The goal is to fill the bag of experience before the bag of luck gets empty.' Today, I'm grateful that most things in my life didn't go as planned or as expected. I am grateful for the sh*tstorms, rough experiences and times I had to adjust my mindset to create a different outcome. More often than not, I did not even want to make these changes. But I'm glad that I did. People tell me I am lucky for the (work)life I have. Or they express how great and strict my boundaries are. I just never have the heart to tell them how much of me it actually took. How during my first 2 years in the US, I didn't get paid at all despite working full time as a wrangler and trainer. How I had to postpone what I wanted to be of service to someone else, pay for my own gas to get around, pay for lessons, tack. I sure as hell didn't get paid for falling off or staying with a horse while they pass away or travel somewhere for transport. But I was there anyway. Even when -in my 3rd year- I did got paid they told me 'we can't possibly pay you what you deserve' I replied that I wasn't in it for the money. If money became an issue, I would try and generate some income elsewhere and I did. But I was there to learn and to help. Luck and Experience went hand-in-hand from then on, because the Universe rewarded me with the exact right people and places to work with. Humble, compassionate, resilient, loving people who put their trust in me from day 1. At that point it didn't feel like work anymore, it felt like home. Money was just a bonus by then because I would have never traded working at these places for anything in the world. It gave me everything I needed and so much more. But the point is: it didn't happen overnight, and it for sure wasn't easy. Co-trainers gave up or in some cases never even showed up, which meant more work for me and chances to prove myself. I never asked for life to become easier. I just asked for more life lessons so I could simply give myself a chance to beat the odds. Don't be afraid to step out of your comfort zone. #EmbraceDiscomfort
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AuthorZoë van Mourik: Equine Trauma Specialist, Behaviorist Archives
November 2023
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